雅思寫作之段落批改的重要性

很多烤鴨們經(jīng)常抱怨，自己也練了很多文章，為什么寫作分數(shù)還是不太理想呢？是練得不夠多呢還是不夠細呢？如何得到質(zhì)的明顯的提高呢？不妨我們?nèi)ニ伎家幌氯缦聠栴}：

1. 所練習的文章話題都是你擅長的嗎？遇到不擅長的話題還有話可說么？

2. 論據(jù)的給出和詳細論證都是你自己獨立列出的么？還是借助范文？切題么？

3. 你是否一直在嘗試寫些所謂的高級句型而忽略了“句子的準確”？詞匯是不是也存在類似問題？

4. 是不是每種話題的文章你都有涉獵？每種話題的文章都在改之又改、精益求精呢？

這樣的你，就好像處于黎明之前（before the crack of dawn）, 你也許只看到the darkness in the dark, 但還是會有那么一道光，會引領(lǐng)你有效突破雅思寫作——段落批改。而朗閣海外考試研究中心的專家建議：文章練習不求泛泛但求改之又改，精益求精。因為段落的修改不僅僅是一個對錯誤的認知，一種措辭（diction）的培養(yǎng)，也是一種意識的形成。

這里，帶大家看兩個段落，考生們在自己寫完作文后也可以對照此方法,先自己作出修改，如果仍有不清楚的地方，可以再求助所在中心的寫作名師或者朗閣海外考試研究中心的專家們。

Task 1（學生習作節(jié)選）

題目詳見《雅思高分范文（第7版）》 P4

The graphs below show the size of the ozone hole over Antarctica and theproduction of three ozone-damaging gases from 1980 to 2000.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features andmake comparisons where relevant.

The size of the ozone hole stood at its smallest point at around 400 unitsin 1980, which showed （使用非限制性定語從句將接下來20年的變化和起點相連，既避免了the size of the ozone hole的重復使用，也增強了數(shù)據(jù)之間的銜接）a（注意語法的準確性，inverse為原因開頭，前面的不定冠詞應用an） inverse V-shaped change with its figure reaching the point at about2000 units in 1990. After that, it was projected that the value would climb back soon and experience（此圖出現(xiàn)的時間為1980-2000年，為過去時間，時態(tài)直接使用一般過去時即可。很多考生在寫作時經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)時態(tài)紊亂的錯誤，這一點也是小作文寫作中的“高壓線”。考生們在寫作時一定要細心，如果出現(xiàn)的均為過去的時間，直接使用一般過去時即可；如果既出現(xiàn)了過去的時間，又出現(xiàn)了將來的時間，則將來時間的部分應使用預測的語氣，例如：it is predicted/projected/estimated that…; thenumber is likely to increase to/reach an estimated + 數(shù)字 in 年份） a consecutive raise（形近詞的使用要注意，此處應使用rise, growth之類的詞，且為名詞） when its value approached the top level（也可以改成hit the peak/summit/the highest point

at about 3500 units in 2000.

朗閣海外考試研究中心的專家建議：

1. 語法的準確性需加強，時態(tài)的使用是重中之重，其他類似于冠詞的小錯誤要避免；

2. 類似于rise和raise的形近詞要多注意（拼寫錯誤太多也會影響寫作成績，如-al和-le的比較：principle & principal, individual & schedule）；

3. 詞性的區(qū)分要弄清。一個詞的動詞原形，V-ing, V-ed, 以及V所對應的名詞形式（比較容易錯的有：rise的過去式為rose而非rised, grow的過去式為grew而非grown）；

其他的考生們可以仿照此段，對自己的文章做出修改。

Task 2（學生習作節(jié)選）

題目詳見《雅思高分范文（第7版）》 P169

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Nowadays, people all over the world are watching foreign films much morethan locally produced films. Why? Should government give more financial supportto the local film industry.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from yourown knowledge or experience.

As the first reason to be told, the investigation to produce local film is usually much lower than foreignfilms.（此處用investigation并不那么恰當，是否想表達的是investment? 形近詞之間的區(qū)分要更加注意） Most of time, the quality of films depends on howmuch money it has input on them.（此處體現(xiàn)了第一處supporting ideas, 比較可惜的是出現(xiàn)了論據(jù)，但并沒有展開論證。所以對于讀者來說會有些unconvincing） Secondly,the cultural difference between foreign countries and mainland could also be areason.（注意句子的頭重腳輕，可以將主語和賓語進行位置的互換，例如another factor that can be taken into account  is the cultural difference between countries） For the cause that local culture always follows thepeople who living there, people may feel tired of the content that locally madefilms show to them. They are more interested in foreign films because thestories and cultural background are different. Furthermore, the backward media technology may also be aproblem. In some developing countries, the technology they have in the field ofvideo and audio making is not so good as other foreign countries.（這句話有些過于wordy了，其實核心信息就想表達due to the backward media, in some underdevelopedcountries, the technology in the field of video and audio is not so good asthat in other foreign countries. 而且一定要加上that, 因為這樣才能構(gòu)成比較對象一致）That could leadin a result that the locally made films in those countries are lesscompetitive in sound and visual output than the films made abroad.（劃線句過于wordy and redundant, 即過于啰嗦，不妨可以改成lead to less competitiveness in sound and visualoutput of local-made films than those made abroad) For that reason, peopleprefer more to the foreign films.

朗閣海外考試研究中心的專家建議：

1. 在語言表達的準確性上需進一步提升；

2. 論據(jù)與文章觀點之間的連接性需要加強，切記要緊密切題。

總而言之(in a nutshell)，在平時的寫作準備中有“三多”：多讀，多練，多改。?？绝唫冊缛湛嫉嚼硐氲某煽?。