提升托福寫作水平-對中式英文說“NO!”

對很多中國托?？忌鷣碚f，寫作實(shí)際上是個(gè)翻譯過程，如何把思想中的中文轉(zhuǎn)化成現(xiàn)實(shí)中的英文是托?；A(chǔ)寫作關(guān)心的問題，也是學(xué)生們首要應(yīng)該解決的問題。但是我們的學(xué)生受思維定式的影響，如果在新托福寫作中套漢語思維，就是中式化英語的表現(xiàn)。這只能使文章語言蹩腳、冗贅。所以考生在托福寫作備考時(shí)，要注意英語表達(dá)和漢語表達(dá)的差別，重要的一點(diǎn)是托福寫作應(yīng)避免中式英文。

1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.

Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.

Agree to say that表達(dá)中式化，只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改為the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(學(xué)校給我們提供了獲取書本知識的好方法)更為恰當(dāng) ，同樣后面的the best surviving techniques改為the best method for acquiring common sense,加上street marks(街頭智慧)給文章的托福詞匯增添色彩。

2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wife and daughter.

Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.

原句中studying education and communication的說法中式化，不符合英語的表述，應(yīng)該為studying，educating themselves。除了詞語表達(dá)，此句中還存在其他問題，如名詞單復(fù)數(shù)的使用：不是提高他們的角色，而是提高他們自身以扮演好母親角色。

還有，女性不止一個(gè)人。很多人都在扮演母親角色，role和mother應(yīng)用復(fù)數(shù)，故將improve their role as a mother改為improve themselves in their roles as mother;同樣，為保持一致，wife和daughter也可用復(fù)數(shù)，原文中wife的復(fù)數(shù)寫法有誤，應(yīng)該是wives。

3、Original：If you can get the point of communication by watching TV，will you...?

Revised：If one can learn about communicating from television，will you...?

原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表達(dá)不清，讓人難以理解，應(yīng)該是指“從電視上學(xué)習(xí)交際”：learn about communicating from television.